DISCLAIMER: The incidents mentioned in the post are merely illustrative and have no relation with any person whatsoever.
Don't get me wrong by merely reading the headline of the post. Women love men. After all, why else would we procreate with one of their kind? But we also hate men. Yes, I know, women are confusing as hell and I'm going RIGHT DOWN THAT PATH. But what can we do really? We're programmed like that.
If someone asked me to give a definite answer- we love men, be it our fathers, brothers, friends, boyfriends, husbands, sons...you get the drift. This is our inherent nature. But we also grow into hating men. Notice the use of the phrase "grow into"? From the second we are born, we are programmed and conditioned into hating men by men themselves and more often than not, women too.
Don't believe me? Sample the lifetime of a female:
I am 13 minutes and 27 seconds old right now. My grandma cringes at the sight of me. She refuses to take me in her arms and instead chides my mum for not begetting a son. Dad, who was elated to see me a couple of minutes ago, now looks at me with disappointed eyes. He holds me but I feel no more affectionate caress. While maa and I are alone at night, she cries and holds me tight. "I'm sorry, my dear one they don't know better but mama will always love you."
And she fulfills her promise. She never stops loving me.
I am 5 years old now and at my cousins' home for summer vacation. My elder cousin brother asks me if I'd like to play a new game. I say yes, excited. He closes the door and makes me lie on the bed while he comes and lays over me. It feels weird but finally my cousin is "playing" with me so I do as he says. He says it'll be our little secret and if I tell anyone, he'd never play with me again.
I remain quiet.
I am 9 now, playing on the road in front of my house. A stranger comes and asks for directions to a certain tutor's place, the aunties there ask me to lead him up the staircase. Halfway through, he holds me against the railing, my hands held at my back and starts moving against me. No, it doesn't feel right. "My mom is calling me", I say. "No, she can wait", he replies. "No, no, I have to go." Fearing I'll cause an alarm, he lets go.
I don't go out and play anymore.
I am 12 now, almost a teenager! I'm going to a friend's place just 4 minutes away, walking. I can almost see her home now. A guy whizzes past me, but now before he's pulled my t-shirt in front of tens of people.
My mum wonders why I don't go to my friend's anymore.
Sweet 16. That means I finally have a broadband connection and the much important Facebook account. I check my 'Others' folder. A guy with a Shah Rukh Khan display picture has sent me a text asking me how I'd like to be f*c*k*d.
I don't really check that folder now.
I just celebrated my 18th birthday, an adult! I'm coming back from my coaching. It's winters so it gets dark early. There's a patch on the way that's not very lit up. A figure lurking in the shadows pulls me and pushes me against a tree, fondling me. I fight back, bite him. And he runs away.
My mom wonders why I try to find excuses to skip coaching in board year.
I'm 19. My parents go through my cellphone and find out I have a boyfriend. He's just a friend really but we are more close in comparison to the rest of our friends. But they don't understand that he respects me a lot and has never tried to do anything that would hurt me. Just the fact that I have a boyfriend infuriates them. I get slapped and my cellphone's taken away. They forbid me from seeing him in the future.
I don't have a boyfriend now.
My board results are out. I get accepted into a world class university but my dad refuses to send me abroad. Never you mind, I ace an entrance test and am eligible to enter into various prestigious institutions within the country. "Give as many tests as you want, you'll only go to the local university, it's good." he says while he looks at my younger brother who's still in school and asks him to study hard so he can send him to the United States.
I never made it outside my city.
I'm 21, I get an amazing opportunity to work with a reputed company outside my hometown. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. "Why does she have to go out? There are numerous vacancies in the city itself. Tell her to find some work in the city itself" the neighbors say.
I settle for a less paying job where I don't grow whatsoever.
I'm 23 now, time to look for a suitable match for me. I tell them I have already met someone and I'd like to marry him. I'm beaten up and locked up in a room. You'll marry the groom of my choice, dad says. Mom sneaks into the room and cries with me. She wishes she'd walked out sooner on dad. She asks for forgiveness. We hug each other tight and cry all night.
I marry the groom of his choice.
A few days after my marriage, my in-laws ask me to leave my job. "Why do you need to work? Our son earns enough. Stay at home and serve your ageing in laws". I complain to my husband. He slaps me for speaking against his parents and asks me to listen to what they say.
My professional designation- a homemaker.
A year into our marriage, he comes home and I'm sick. Fever. But he has needs. He forces me into bed with him and as soon as he's done with me, rolls over to his side of the bed and dozes off, leaving me bruised and completely unattended.
Shut up, my bestie says. There's no such thing as marital rape. It's your job.
A few says later, I wake up with an uneasy feeling in the morning. I rush to the bathroom. 3 rounds of throwing up and a pregnancy test later, my in laws rejoice at the thought of finally having a grandson.
I hope it is a girl.
***Labor day.***
I am 13 minutes and 27 seconds old right now. My grandma cringes at the sight of me. She refuses to take me in her arms and instead chides my mum for not begetting a son. Dad, who was elated to see me a couple of minutes ago, now looks at me with disappointed eyes. He holds me but I feel no more affectionate caress. While maa and I are alone at night, she cries and holds me tight. "I'm sorry, my dear one they don't know better but mama will always love you."
Maa took a dozen sleeping pills that night. She's never able to fulfill her promise...
***************************************************************
Some of you are going to term this post a rather grim perspective at how things are. But believe me people when I say this, girls hide a lot from the world than anyone can possibly imagine. Neither their moms, nor their friends nor their boyfriends ever get to know about such things. In majority of cases, women take such incidents with them to the grave because of the shame and the stigma attached to it.
It's time they started speaking out.
Don't get me wrong by merely reading the headline of the post. Women love men. After all, why else would we procreate with one of their kind? But we also hate men. Yes, I know, women are confusing as hell and I'm going RIGHT DOWN THAT PATH. But what can we do really? We're programmed like that.
If someone asked me to give a definite answer- we love men, be it our fathers, brothers, friends, boyfriends, husbands, sons...you get the drift. This is our inherent nature. But we also grow into hating men. Notice the use of the phrase "grow into"? From the second we are born, we are programmed and conditioned into hating men by men themselves and more often than not, women too.
Don't believe me? Sample the lifetime of a female:
I am 13 minutes and 27 seconds old right now. My grandma cringes at the sight of me. She refuses to take me in her arms and instead chides my mum for not begetting a son. Dad, who was elated to see me a couple of minutes ago, now looks at me with disappointed eyes. He holds me but I feel no more affectionate caress. While maa and I are alone at night, she cries and holds me tight. "I'm sorry, my dear one they don't know better but mama will always love you."
And she fulfills her promise. She never stops loving me.
I am 5 years old now and at my cousins' home for summer vacation. My elder cousin brother asks me if I'd like to play a new game. I say yes, excited. He closes the door and makes me lie on the bed while he comes and lays over me. It feels weird but finally my cousin is "playing" with me so I do as he says. He says it'll be our little secret and if I tell anyone, he'd never play with me again.
I remain quiet.
 |
| Child abuse is more common than people realise. |
I don't go out and play anymore.
I am 12 now, almost a teenager! I'm going to a friend's place just 4 minutes away, walking. I can almost see her home now. A guy whizzes past me, but now before he's pulled my t-shirt in front of tens of people.
My mum wonders why I don't go to my friend's anymore.
Sweet 16. That means I finally have a broadband connection and the much important Facebook account. I check my 'Others' folder. A guy with a Shah Rukh Khan display picture has sent me a text asking me how I'd like to be f*c*k*d.
I don't really check that folder now.
 |
| It's not uncommon for women to receive sexually explicit messages online. |
My mom wonders why I try to find excuses to skip coaching in board year.
I'm 19. My parents go through my cellphone and find out I have a boyfriend. He's just a friend really but we are more close in comparison to the rest of our friends. But they don't understand that he respects me a lot and has never tried to do anything that would hurt me. Just the fact that I have a boyfriend infuriates them. I get slapped and my cellphone's taken away. They forbid me from seeing him in the future.
I don't have a boyfriend now.
 |
| Relationships are looked down upon my parents while it is perfectly okay to marry a stranger. |
My board results are out. I get accepted into a world class university but my dad refuses to send me abroad. Never you mind, I ace an entrance test and am eligible to enter into various prestigious institutions within the country. "Give as many tests as you want, you'll only go to the local university, it's good." he says while he looks at my younger brother who's still in school and asks him to study hard so he can send him to the United States.
I never made it outside my city.
I'm 21, I get an amazing opportunity to work with a reputed company outside my hometown. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. "Why does she have to go out? There are numerous vacancies in the city itself. Tell her to find some work in the city itself" the neighbors say.
I settle for a less paying job where I don't grow whatsoever.
I'm 23 now, time to look for a suitable match for me. I tell them I have already met someone and I'd like to marry him. I'm beaten up and locked up in a room. You'll marry the groom of my choice, dad says. Mom sneaks into the room and cries with me. She wishes she'd walked out sooner on dad. She asks for forgiveness. We hug each other tight and cry all night.
I marry the groom of his choice.
A few days after my marriage, my in-laws ask me to leave my job. "Why do you need to work? Our son earns enough. Stay at home and serve your ageing in laws". I complain to my husband. He slaps me for speaking against his parents and asks me to listen to what they say.
My professional designation- a homemaker.
A year into our marriage, he comes home and I'm sick. Fever. But he has needs. He forces me into bed with him and as soon as he's done with me, rolls over to his side of the bed and dozes off, leaving me bruised and completely unattended.
Shut up, my bestie says. There's no such thing as marital rape. It's your job.
 |
| 2.6 billion women live in countries where marital rape is legal. |
I hope it is a girl.
***Labor day.***
I am 13 minutes and 27 seconds old right now. My grandma cringes at the sight of me. She refuses to take me in her arms and instead chides my mum for not begetting a son. Dad, who was elated to see me a couple of minutes ago, now looks at me with disappointed eyes. He holds me but I feel no more affectionate caress. While maa and I are alone at night, she cries and holds me tight. "I'm sorry, my dear one they don't know better but mama will always love you."
Maa took a dozen sleeping pills that night. She's never able to fulfill her promise...
***************************************************************
Some of you are going to term this post a rather grim perspective at how things are. But believe me people when I say this, girls hide a lot from the world than anyone can possibly imagine. Neither their moms, nor their friends nor their boyfriends ever get to know about such things. In majority of cases, women take such incidents with them to the grave because of the shame and the stigma attached to it.
It's time they started speaking out.
No comments:
Post a Comment