Random musings of an average writer!

As I sit down to write this blog post, I stare emptily at the screen blinking in front of me. I don’t have any specific topic in mind but at the same time I know I haven’t written since quite some time and if I keep putting off this task, it will prove to be my undoing because to come out of a writer’s block is perhaps tougher than the actual job of writing itself. 

This was my mantra as I sat down to write this blog post.

I check my phone. It is 9 pm. Sharp. I’m tempted to unlock the screen and check my social media- Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Whatsapp. Just a peek, you know. But then I’m reminded of an article I read in a lifestyle magazine about freelance writing where it said that working from home is tougher as you do not have any set timeline and any time you while away on such sites is precious time wasted. Time that you could have used on working instead. The urge goes away. 

For now. 

Does writing about only significant things is writing or can I write about mundane stuff too?

So what do I do? What do I write about? I have a million things inside of my head and yet none I feel substantial enough for me to write on paper. But is it only the substantial stuff that a writer should write about? Or even the more mundane ones? I don’t know but I guess the latter works too, atleast I’m sure one writer must have said so. I feel too lazy to go on the Internet to find the exact quote (that is if any exists to that extent). But I’m pretty sure it does. I don’t know how many other authors or writer have come across the same situation, but there are times when I think of something and just to do a plagiarism check (I feel strongly about that one). I go to the internet and run a Google search of my writing. A lot of times I end up finding similar stuff by other people and those are the times that I get insanely confused as to whether that particular sentence or phrase was my creation or it was something I’d read before that I used in my writing. At that instant, the lines get blurred and even if I don’t want to, I end up tossing that stuff into the Recycle Bin or changing the particular “plagiarized” part with some different words but never happy with the end result. It just hurts. 

I decide to write, just for the love of it.

My phone buzzes. Now I really want to check my phone, is it a mail or a text or a tweet or a friend request. Is it important or a message I’ll read and leave unanswered or a mail I’ll end up trashing. And at this very instant I can’t help but smile at my stream of thoughts. It’s excruciatingly irritating and childish and philosophical at the same time. Now that I’ve realized that this certain piece is not going anywhere in particular, I’m hoping that it takes a more philosophical route.

Why? Because even though I know I may not be wonderful at it, I want my writing to mean something to someone. I want it to inspire someone to take up an interest they’d always wanted to pursue, but never got the opportunity to (whatever may be the reason), just like I did by starting this blog. Or maybe it could encourage someone else to write too, you know, just to share their pent up thoughts with the rest of the world or with none at all, really because all I wanted to do when I started writing was to, Idk…just write or exist through the medium of my words. But not words that are hollow but words that carry a meaning behind that imperfect grammar or insufficient vocabulary. 

I want my words to mean something to someone- make them feel even if it is the slightest of an emotion.

Meaning. The word reminds me of a certain text that I received some time ago by this person who chided me or more specifically insulted me outright saying my words carried no weightage at all. That my writings were useless works of art. At the first instant, I was outraged. If he had not been sitting behind a screen, I would have probably kicked him and now I’m laughing at this very thought. But after thinking a lot about it, I came to the conclusion that the very reason I started writing was to make myself happy and to share it with an audience via a medium was a completely unrelated decision. I never begged anyone to like my page or to read my blog post, I simply left them with a request to do so and whether they obliged with it or not was their personal decision. So why should I get flustered by such an opinion? Maybe that person simply does not like the kind of stuff I write about or maybe he’s into more ‘formal’ style of writing. Perhaps the best I can do is to try and improve myself but for the time being all I should remember is that I do it because it makes me and the people who care about it, happy.

And so I write, because it makes me happy!