The recent firing incident in PU shows we have failed as a society

By now almost all of you have read or heard about the recent firing incident that took place in the Panjab University campus. Allegedly- a spat between two political groups resulted in a firing and subsequent arrests and mudslinging between the parties. Now I am not going to into the politics of all this but simply take the reader’s attention from all of this to a very important issue that has taken a backstage amidst all of this i.e. how we have failed as a society.

Cops at the campus after the firing incident

First off, there are some difficult questions that need to be answered- why are arms being brought inside the campus? Whether it is being done by insiders or outsiders is irrelevant, why is the need to carry them alongwith you at all? And why have we become so impatient that at the slightest of provocation one starts brandishing violence?

Answers to this are many, many political many otherwise but the most glaring of all being that we have failed as a society and as human beings. Punjab is a state that prides itself on being the bravest, of course since the highest number of army men serving are the inhabitants of this place. But they are also known to be the most kind. The humility and the love showered by the people are examples that are spoken highly of…yet of late there has been a change in this reputation.

Do you? Because I surely as hell do not.

Suddenly we are the people who are famous for being loud, uncouth, violent who love showing off their wealth. Atleast that is what our culture is depicting nowadays- you hardly come across a song that does not talk about violence (a la AK 47 or something about picking up a fight with another guy) or booze or objectifying women. Or movies that are in a really bad taste and show the people as dumb and the like. Is this not all a reflection of what we have become? Or is it the other way round? These songs, movies and happenings around us are teaching us that it is okay to preach violence and be rowdy and unruly because for some reason it is cool and swaggy to do so?

Whatever it is, it reflects poorly on us and is a portrayal of our deterioration as humans. Being on the campus it scares me, for it makes me think of the innumerable shooting incidents that occur in America that we keep hearing about and it the very thought of it shudders me to the core that today it has happened outside the law auditorium, tomorrow it can happen inside any of our departments and by the time we realize what a huge blunder we have made by allowing such petty politics in our campuses, it will be too late.

While we love aping the West, I hope we do not go down that road when it comes to this.

Eulogy for my grandfather

My eulogy speech for my nanu

In the last blog post I wrote about dealing with the loss of a loved one, today I will be sharing my eulogy speech that I wrote for my grandfather (nanu). It was my first experience of witnessing death so closely and it has been difficult.

Anyhow, here is the full text of my speech-

''On the untimely demise of my nanu, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to all of you who have come here and joined our grieving family.

My nanu perhaps needs no introduction for he was an enigmatic personality- disciplined, honest, kind and extremely brave. I have many fond memories of him for he was a constant source of guidance and support to me. He had always motivated me to achieve more and more in life. I am going to miss all of that and more. I was lucky to have met him before he went away. He has left us with a void that can never be filled.

But perhaps the most difficult it has been for my nani, who had been a constant companion and support to my nanu. No one can hardly begin to imagine her pain and I hope God provides her with all the courage to deal with this irreparable loss. We are all with you.

At the end, I only have a small poem to share with you that I would like to dedicate to the departed soul-

'No farewell words were spoken

No time to say goodbye

You were gone before we knew it and only god knows why

My heart aches in sadness and secret tears flow

What it means to lose you, no-one else can know

A presence from our family has gone

A voice we loved is still

A place is vacant in our lives 

That never can be filled

The blow was great

We never thought the end was near

And only those who have lost, can tell

The pain of heartache without farewell

Your memory is our keepsake

From which we will never part

God may have you in his keeping

But we still have you in our heart'''

How do you deal with the loss of a loved one?

How did you deal with the loss of a loved one?

         

The loss of a loved one does not mean they are gone, their spirit still lives within us. – Katelyn Spotten

This is perhaps the most intimate quote I have read on the death of a loved one.

I recently lost my nanu (grandfather) to a hard fought 11 year long battle with cancer and to say that it has been tough would be an understatement. My nanu was a civil servant who had worked hard all his life. Eleven years ago when he was diagnosed with cancer, I was too young, yet it felt like the whole world had come crashing down on us. But he sailed through it- eleven years cancer -free, only for it to return last year. And so the whole cycle began again- the countless sessions of chemotherapy, a radiation so strong that though it may keep you alive but it would somewhere deep down crush your soul and your spirit.

After completing his session of six months I thought it was all good now but he never really recovered- his body was too frail, his bones were visible underneath his skin yet he kept smiling through it all. He passed away last Wednesday and I had just met him on the Sunday before and he kept chit-chatting with me, asking about a recent vacation I took and the likes. And to imagine that he is no more there with us puts my stomach in knots. It is not that I do not understand that this is the way life works or that given his condition, this was inevitable but how do you prepare yourself for the death of a loved one? Or its aftermath?

Most people know my nanu as a strict public official, but for me he was the kindest, sweetest man I know.

I still cant stop myself from tearing up when I think about him or when I am with my nani or my mom or her siblings. And if it is this tough on me, I can only imagine how difficult a time it is for them. Yet, people say I was lucky that I got to meet him before he left us, but does that ever fill the void that has been left behind?

But all along, what has surprised me is the sheer amount of strength my grandma and my mom have showed me. When my mom saw me cry, the first and the only thing she told me was this- Mrinaal, please don’t cry. The amount of tears you shed is the number of rivers your nanu’s soul will have to cross in order to go back to the place he came from.

I haven’t cried since. What she said is the most profound thing someone has ever told me. And perhaps that is the only way you deal with the loss of a loved one- by letting go of them happily. I have been attending college regularly so much so that after his cremation, I was back in my department (at my parents’ insistence) to attend a conference because they thought this was the best way to honour him and everything he’d stood for all along in his life.

Is this easy? It certainly isn’t but if this is what it takes, then so be it. 

Why our education system is flawed.

I do not think anyone would disagree with me when I say our education system is flawed- not in India alone but world over, almost. When I talk about our education system, though I do refer to the whole system overall but more specifically mean the higher education.

Ever since we were young, our education took the first priority and that is not bad at all. For of course, education is supposedly the most important facility that parents our supposed to provide to us. And so the process begins- the nursery admissions, interviews of our parents, donations to schools etc etc. As we grow up we realize the absurdity of all of it- a child who can barely speak is made to sit through interviews and so are the parents. What are these schools judging? I am not sure really.

Interviewing kids before they have gotten into a school? Am I the only one who sees the absurdity in  it?

I was told by my parents when I went for my nursery admission, I was wearing a frock and the school authorities would keep asking me its colors and everything (which were blue and white, by the way). I was barely three and now when I think back on it I find it quite weird. (Most guys I know cannot differentiate between shades of orange and pink, I was three then!).

And if that is not enough, these days there is a new trend of interviewing the parents- a process which is beyond my understanding by all means. What do you need to interview the parents for? I mean normal question is alright but such is the extent of these questions that most couples prepare for such interviews way before the D-day.

These are kids we are talking about with all their goo-goos and gaga and we are expecting them to sail through such questions BEFORE they have gotten into a school? Then what is the point of it all?

Okay, let us forget about all of that for now and move to the next point- our pointless syllabus. As far as I am concerned, I did not really care when a certain battle was fought or when a particular invention was made. Surely it did catch my curiosity but the fact that my passing or failing depended on these years was a bit unsettling. The point of education is to prepare us for the future, I would have liked it more had my school taught me how bank accounts are opened (I dreaded going in to a bank all by myself until last year because I found the thought too scary as I did not know anything at all) or how taxes are calculated (because I still don’t, tbh) and it just makes me feel like a fool.

So our syllabus is flawed. 

I dont understand how our syllabus are created.

But so is this concept of no-detention policy. With the advent of Right to Education, schools are being opened; students are being taught for free and it is a great step in the right direction. But are these people really learning? During the UPA regime, the then HRD minister honble (all kinds of sarcasm intended) Mr. Kapil Sibal launched the Comprehensive Curriculum Education system wherein students were graded and not scored and of course, you could not fail them. Really? REALLY?! So if a student has not learned anything in Class 3, you will promote him to class 4 where he will learn nothing because his concepts are not clear and so on. All this for what? So that you can show that he is a certain standard pass irrespective of whether or not he has that knowledge level or not? I am sure it looks great on your government’s report card but it did not really do anything for the nation except for severely hampering the youth.

There are whispers though that the new government will do away with this useless policy and one can only hope that this happens soon.

Then of course there are our colleges. I remember when I was in Class 12 in Commerce, I was pretty clueless as to what I wanted to do further but I always had an interest in English and applied accordingly. But by the time I was done a neighbor suggested my parents to have me coached in law and give their entrances. They did. And I loved it so much that I decided to pursue it further. Class 12 results came out and I went to meet my English teacher who had written glowing reviews for me for my international college applications and I distinctly remember her words- You are leaving Cardiff and Oxford for a local institute. I don’t know what is wrong with you but I do hope this does not turn out to be the biggest mistake of your life.

This unsettled me so much that I could not sleep all night. I had to rethink my decision a million times but I went ahead with it anyways. Almost two years have passed to this incident. What do I think about it now? I am not so sure. I like the place I am at but it does not satisfy me completely because no one hear talks about originality, creativity and the focus is mainly laid on book-ish knowledge. And I suppose this is the situation in most educational institutions irrespective of what field you are talking about which is the reason why they say more than 90% of graduates in India are not worthy of being employed (these are the results of actual studies conducted). With this half-baked knowledge how are we supposed to compete in this world anyway?

Maybe it is time that our education system is revamped that focuses more on developing the individuality of a student rather than producing copies.                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Why I am a feminist and you should be proud of being one too

The advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes- this is the first result that shows up when one Googles the term Feminism.

So given our history and the continuous oppression of the womankind and all, I suppose this term makes a lot of sense. But of late I have observed that over the social media this term is used more as an insult than an empowering label. And I fail to understand why. So many stereotypes are being created- from feminists being ugly and hairy to calling them feminazis. All this for what? 

Many people come up with this argument that feminism is a tactic used by women to get special treatment or the likes. Look, I do not really know who told you that but I believe that since it is the womankind which had to bear the brunt of everything- from being treated as a substandard human being to many other things- they kind of, maybe, sort of deserve special treatment. But now by way of adopting a Yes maam approach to everything but in ways of opportunities, education, self respect and the like. I suppose that is feminism in its truest sense. 

Even Emma Watson supports the Feminist movement and she is certainly not ugly or hairy.

Never for once have I ever read in any text related to feminism that it advocates male bashing or creating a world ruled by women or any other popular perception that people may hold but a clear view that a lot needs to be done to bring women at par with the opposite sex. Now I understand the concern of some people who say that women use this term to obtain an undue advantage over men and not even for once do I dispute it, But when have we ever come across a philosophy that does not have some repercussions of its own. Does that mean we abandon an ideology altogether and completely overlook the greater good it has achieved?

Everyday there are movements cropping up like (Wo)Men against Feminism or any other movement by some fancy name that seeks to counter the Feminist movement, So what are you advocating? Going by the definition of the term itself probably that women should not have equal rights as that of men. Is it what you are rooting for? Because if you are, I am not so sure why your opinion even matters because you are exactly the kind of people against whom the feminist movement originated in the first place.

The feminist movement has never advocated male bashing.

Around the world women are still deprived of basic education, they go through their menstruating years without proper access to sanitation facilities, are severely underpaid, undergo genital mutilation, become victims of domestic violence, molestation, rapes (even marital), undergo forced abortions, sacrifice their careers in the name of family...the list is endless and if you still think feminism is not needed then it is your plain ignorance that is talking because equality for women in context of sexes is still a far cry.

So if you say you are all for equality but not feminism, that is like having your feet in two different boats while trying to reach the same destination- you are bound to get drowned. And for the next time you say you hate feminism? Take a step back and remember- you do not hate it, you just do not understand it.

I love Feminism and you should too!

A book review community for all the readers out there!

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.

While the author who wrote this remains unknown, the truth of this statement can hardly be overstated.
Reading is perhaps the best gateway for the human mind to explore the world without leaving the comfort of your seat. Isn't this what Laura Jane Scott conveyed in her song 'The Librarian' (thank you, Castle!) when she said-
"I know the distance it takes
to sail around the world
I've done it many times
behind my knotted desk
In quiet service to the stories I collect
Until it's time to close and go home for the night"

I was thinking about how reading is an individual process but how I can make it more fruitful. And then it hit me, why not build an online library for all of us? Not of books but of book reviews! I figured since my book reviews get a great response I could make the activity more interactive by building a network of readers who're looking for suggestions and can give out some of their own.

Reading is best done if we share our experiences with each other.

How I plan to do this?
Well, I've come up with a dedicated Instagram account of my blog (@mrinaalsdiary) wherein readers can send in their pictures with the book they're currently reading. It could be a review of the book or the reason why you picked up the book, anything at all. What's more is that you can even send in an Instagram video of the book review! Can you imagine having a review of a book you've been meaning to pick up in 30 seconds or less? I believe it will be fun for all readers and further we can even put up a compilation of these reviews on the blog here.
I don't know if this venture will be a success or not but I'm willing to put in an honest effort to make it a success provided I have the support of you people which I hope I do. 

If reading is our gateway to another dimension then why not enter it together?

You can send in your review pictures or videos directly on the Instagram handle @mrinaalsdiary or inbox me on the Facebook page fb.com/mrinaalsdiary or mail it to me at mrinaaldatt.uils@gmail.com
Happy reading! 

Random musings of an average writer!

As I sit down to write this blog post, I stare emptily at the screen blinking in front of me. I don’t have any specific topic in mind but at the same time I know I haven’t written since quite some time and if I keep putting off this task, it will prove to be my undoing because to come out of a writer’s block is perhaps tougher than the actual job of writing itself. 

This was my mantra as I sat down to write this blog post.

I check my phone. It is 9 pm. Sharp. I’m tempted to unlock the screen and check my social media- Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Whatsapp. Just a peek, you know. But then I’m reminded of an article I read in a lifestyle magazine about freelance writing where it said that working from home is tougher as you do not have any set timeline and any time you while away on such sites is precious time wasted. Time that you could have used on working instead. The urge goes away. 

For now. 

Does writing about only significant things is writing or can I write about mundane stuff too?

So what do I do? What do I write about? I have a million things inside of my head and yet none I feel substantial enough for me to write on paper. But is it only the substantial stuff that a writer should write about? Or even the more mundane ones? I don’t know but I guess the latter works too, atleast I’m sure one writer must have said so. I feel too lazy to go on the Internet to find the exact quote (that is if any exists to that extent). But I’m pretty sure it does. I don’t know how many other authors or writer have come across the same situation, but there are times when I think of something and just to do a plagiarism check (I feel strongly about that one). I go to the internet and run a Google search of my writing. A lot of times I end up finding similar stuff by other people and those are the times that I get insanely confused as to whether that particular sentence or phrase was my creation or it was something I’d read before that I used in my writing. At that instant, the lines get blurred and even if I don’t want to, I end up tossing that stuff into the Recycle Bin or changing the particular “plagiarized” part with some different words but never happy with the end result. It just hurts. 

I decide to write, just for the love of it.

My phone buzzes. Now I really want to check my phone, is it a mail or a text or a tweet or a friend request. Is it important or a message I’ll read and leave unanswered or a mail I’ll end up trashing. And at this very instant I can’t help but smile at my stream of thoughts. It’s excruciatingly irritating and childish and philosophical at the same time. Now that I’ve realized that this certain piece is not going anywhere in particular, I’m hoping that it takes a more philosophical route.

Why? Because even though I know I may not be wonderful at it, I want my writing to mean something to someone. I want it to inspire someone to take up an interest they’d always wanted to pursue, but never got the opportunity to (whatever may be the reason), just like I did by starting this blog. Or maybe it could encourage someone else to write too, you know, just to share their pent up thoughts with the rest of the world or with none at all, really because all I wanted to do when I started writing was to, Idk…just write or exist through the medium of my words. But not words that are hollow but words that carry a meaning behind that imperfect grammar or insufficient vocabulary. 

I want my words to mean something to someone- make them feel even if it is the slightest of an emotion.

Meaning. The word reminds me of a certain text that I received some time ago by this person who chided me or more specifically insulted me outright saying my words carried no weightage at all. That my writings were useless works of art. At the first instant, I was outraged. If he had not been sitting behind a screen, I would have probably kicked him and now I’m laughing at this very thought. But after thinking a lot about it, I came to the conclusion that the very reason I started writing was to make myself happy and to share it with an audience via a medium was a completely unrelated decision. I never begged anyone to like my page or to read my blog post, I simply left them with a request to do so and whether they obliged with it or not was their personal decision. So why should I get flustered by such an opinion? Maybe that person simply does not like the kind of stuff I write about or maybe he’s into more ‘formal’ style of writing. Perhaps the best I can do is to try and improve myself but for the time being all I should remember is that I do it because it makes me and the people who care about it, happy.

And so I write, because it makes me happy!