Why you should date someone who will tell you how they feel

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.” — Dale Carnegie

The say love is hard. It’s a series of chemical reactions in your mind and body that could potentially land you up in a situation where you may or may not want to bed (depending upon where you are).

An exhilarating experience, as told by some, with a few bumps along the road. Whilst we try to make things easy for our partners and ourselves (unless you’re a damaged person seeking drama in your relationship) there are times when we fail despite our best efforts.

Why does that happen? Why do we fail?

Because contrary to popular belief, feelings matter.

Because we fail to communicate. We fail to say what we feel. We fail to do what we feel. Feelings and actions, they say, make or break your relationships but of late, we’ve all been conditioned to hide our feelings. Because if we hide our feelings, we protect ourselves from a potential heartache. But that is what it is…a ‘potential’ heartache. You can’t know love if you are not willing to test the waters; if you are not willing to risk yourself a heartache once in a while.

No matter how far you grow in your life, professionally and financially, true growth comes from within, when you treat sadness with the same respect as you do with elation. When you brave a broken heart, the same way you would tend to a happy memory. That is what measures your true growth. And screw societal norms that you cannot cry or you cannot leave your heart vulnerable because crying is beautiful, giving your heart to someone and expecting them to keep it with love and care is brave not cowardly.

There is nothing more meditative than strings of pearls escaping your eyes for they cleanse your soul, they vacate your soul of all the negativity that has built up and to let you know that in spite of all the heartache, you will get back up as an injured warrior who may have lost some battles every once in a while but who will ultimately win the war.

There is nothing more brave than getting your heart broken and collecting all the pieces, getting back up and loving someone with the same intensity, same passion once again, if not more.

You may emerge hurt sometimes out of such an experience, but it will help you grow, it will help you to expand in ways you could not have imagined because baring your heart and soul to someone, to show them how you really feel, is really special. And worth the heartache. Every. Single. Time.

“There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west –
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.” – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The Untitled Poem

Sometimes it so happens that you read something, or come across a situation that leaves a profound impact on you and as a writer the only way at times to let go or in a remote sense, 'deal' with the situation is to write about it because writing is the only source of liberation out there for weirdos like me. 

So the past couple of days have been turbulent times coupled with finishing a soul stirring novel, The Pact (Hello, book review!). Anyways, I was basically writing aimlessly and ended up with this. I suppose I have taken a lot of relaxation with the "strict rules" of poetry but pretty sure that it remains within the broad confines of its meaning.

However, I was not able to come up with any suitable title for this work, which is ironic since I am a self professed writer but sometimes words just aren't enough so I just ended up calling it the Untitled Poem which goes like this:

"I saw death from the closest quarters and it was not me who was dying,
'twas someone I love perhaps more than myself; anything else, I would be lying.

First glance at him and I knew I'd found my guardian angel, but today I sat next to him in a vehicle with high pitched sirens, transfixed as roles reversed;
and my blessing turned into my biggest curse. 

I looked into his milky eyes seeing not even a cry for help,
my own cries doused by the sirens or maybe the alarm bells ringing in my head. 

I kept screaming his name and then some more for that's what the doctor told me-
"your words are the only thing keeping him alive, so just talk to him, please."

I was scared to death, an irony of sorts and yet my tears won't fall;
baby I've loved you more than you can ever know and I have to tell you that you're all I had been waiting for...

You can't leave me like this for we've just started and there are too many miles to go, too many places to be
and too many kisses left incomplete. 

He suddenly takes a short breath, breathing a new life into me.
Now the only challenge is to keep those breaths going, till the time we reach..."

- Mrinaal Datt

To the man I love (Valentine's Day special)

To the man I love,

It's been a year since we've been together and we've had our fair share of highs and lows.
When I say I love you, what do I really mean by that? Do I love you for the time when I went down on my knees and asked you out (because you thought it is too clichéd for guys to always do that) or when you hugged me for the first time so that I would stop crying or our first kiss after which you were cracking jokes to make me feel comfortable...is it your smile, your eyes, the beautiful curve of your lips when you speak?

I went down on my knees and asked you out because you thought it was too cliched the other way round!

Maybe all of this...yet my answer would be incomplete. There's a completeness that comes with YOU.

And I have to be honest, you are not my first love. I had my fair share of “loves” before I met you- one passed away in an accident and the other was a control freak who could not match my fierceness. I was angry and dejected at the same time; I did not give up on love but I wasn’t too excited about it either. The first time I saw you? I knew we would end up being just more than friends but to love so unconditionally? I never could have guessed that for I am an insanely selfish person when it comes to love. But you, YOU changed all of that, swept me off my feet (figuratively and LITERALLY!) and in that instance I knew that I was screwed for life. But it did not matter because for what it was worth, I found you- a lover, a listener, a companion but most importantly, a friend. A friend who would encourage me to be better at just being me, who would push me to follow my dreams even though you would not understand most of them but because they meant the world to me. You are the one who will land up at my place with a bucket of ice cream when I’m in pain; you are the one who would miss an important event to be there for my birthday.

It was you who  made me realise that I was never broken to love.

  

And when I say all of this, I do not mean to say that we are the perfect couple or that we never fight. God knows we’ve had our fair share of arguments but the fact that they seem so frivolous when I see you the next day- that is perfect love to me. When I ask you after we make up- “do you think we will make it till the end?” and you just caress me and say “if you trust me.” I trust you. Of course I do. I’m not gonna say you picked up the broken pieces of my heart and made me whole again but you did give me the love that made me realize I wasn’t broken in the first place and for that I love you.

I don’t know if we will make it or not but I sure as hell hope we do because I love you. I love you for the impromptu gigs you break into to make me laugh. I love you for how you treat me like a kid. I love you for the times you suddenly place your hand over mine and whisper that you love me. I love you for everything you do just to me smile. But most importantly, I love you for being you. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.